Quotations

Some day I may organize these... Then maybe not...

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

You can't tell which way the train went by looking at the tracks.

The careful application of terror is also a form of communication.

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

All things being equal, fat people use more soap.

By the time you make ends meet, they move the ends.

The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.

There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

Never wrestle a pig. You both get dirty but the pig likes it.

When the chips are down, the cow is empty.

Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.

f u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr prgmmng

If your parents didn't have any children, neither will you.

"Now this is a totally brain damaged algorithm. Gag me with a smurfette."

Goalie for the dart team.

Twisted mind? No, just bent in several strategic places.

Nothing is so smiple that it can't be screwed up

The "c" in "rap" is silent.

It's not a bug, it's a feature.

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

All I want is a warm bed, a kind word, and unlimited power.

Ensign Crusher, check that leaky warp core please.

We're alone in the universe or we're not; either idea is mind-boggling.

Calvin: Don't you hate it when your boogers freeze?

Pipecleaner - A toothpick with long underwear.

"Nuclear war can ruin your whole compile."
-- Karl Lehenbauer

Murphy's rule of combat: Incoming fire has right of way.

"Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake."
-- Chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower (1887-1956)

"Don't be so humble - you are not that great."
-- Golda Meir (1898-1978) to a visiting diplomat

"I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart."
-- e e cummings (1894-1962)

"Assassins!"
-- Arturo Toscanini (1867-1957) to his orchestra

"I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have."
-- Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)

"Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other
problems."
-- Rene Descartes (1596-1650), "Discours de la Methode"

"Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so."
-- Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)

"Wit is educated insolence."
-- Aristotle (284-322 B.C.)

"When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to
solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is
wrong."
-- Buckminster Fuller (1895-1983)

"In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite."
-- Paul Dirac (1902-1984)

"I would have made a good Pope."
-- Richard M. Nixon (1913-1994)

"Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin."
-- John von Neumann (1903-1957)

"The mistakes are all waiting to be made."
-- chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower (1887-1956) on the game's opening position

"What do you take me for, an idiot?;"
-- General Charles de Gaulle (1890-1970), when a journalist asked him if he was happy

"A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant
vines."
-- Frank Lloyd Wright (1868-1959)

"Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech."
- Martin Fraquhar Tupper

"From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with
laughter. Some day I intend reading it."
- Groucho Marx (1895-1977)

"It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating."
- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

"When ideas fail, words come in very handy."
- Goethe (1749-1832)

"In the end, everything is a gag."
- Charlie Chaplin (1889-1977)

"I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known."
- Walt Disney (1901-1966)

"He who hesitates is a damned fool."
- Mae West (1892-1980)

"Good teaching is one-forth preparation and three-fourths theater."
- Gail Godwin

"The graveyards are full of indispensable men."
- Charles de Gaulle (1890-1970)

"You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty."
- Sacha Guitry (1885-1957)

"If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning."
- Aristotle Onassis (1906-1975)

"The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for
his."
- General George Patton (1885-1945)

"There is no sincerer love than the love of food."
- George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

"I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking."
- Katherine Cebrian

"The cover of this book are too far apart."
- Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)

"Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end."
- Igor Stravinsky (1882-1971)

"I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to."
- Elvis Presley (1935-1977)

"Hell is a half-filled auditorium."
- Robert Frost (1874-1963)

"Vote early and vote often."
- Al Capone (1899-1947)

"If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?"
- Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

"I am become death, shatterer of worlds."
- Robert J. Oppenheimer (1904-1967) (citing from the Bhagavadgita, after witnessing the world's first nuclear explosion)

"Happiness is good health and a bad memory."
- Ingrid Bergman (1917-1982)

"Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate."
- Thomas Jones

"You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone."
- Al Capone (1899-1947)

"How can I lose to such an idiot?"
- A shout from chessmaster Aaron Nimzovich (1886-1935)

"Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure."
- Ross MacDonald (1915-1983)

"In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take."
- Adlai Stevenson (1900-1965)

"Never mistake motion for action."
- Ernest Hemingway (1889-1961)

"Silence is argument carried out by other means."
- Ernesto "Che"Guevara (1928-1967)

"Well done is better than well said."
- Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)

"The average person thinks he isn't."
- Father Larry Lorenzoni

"Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century."
- Perelman

"Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done."
- Carl Friedrich Gauss (1777-1855) when informed that his wife is dying

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."
- Thomas Watson (1874-1956), Chairman of IBM, 1943

"Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of
opportunity."
- Irving Kristol

"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home."
- Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977

"640K ought to be enough for anybody. "
- Bill Gates (1955-), in 1981

"The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the
idea must be feasible."
- A Yale University management professor in response to student Fred Smith's paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service (Smith went on to found Federal
Express Corp.)

"We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. "
- Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962

"Everything that can be invented has been invented. "
- Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899

"Denial ain't just a river in Egypt. "
- Mark Twain (1835-1910)

"A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood. "
- General George S. Patton (1885-1945)

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know. "
- Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

"Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something. "
- last words of Pancho Villa (1877-1923)

"Its not the size of the dog in the fight, its the size of the fight in the dog. "
- Mark Twain (1835-1910)

"It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both. "
- Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527), "The Prince"

"Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame."
- Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)

"A poem is never finished, only abandoned."
- Paul Valery (1871-1945)

"Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis."
- Pierre Laplace (1749-1827), to Napoleon on why his works on celestial mechanics make no mention of God.

"I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need."
- Rodin (1840-1917), when asked how he managed to make his remarkable statues

"Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing."
- Wernher Von Braun (1912-1977)

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

Science acknowledges God, God displays science.
-- anonymous

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize
or attack the government of my own country. I make up for lost time when I come home.
- Sir Winston Churchill

A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.
- Sir Winston Churchill

A love for tradition has never weakened a nation, indeed it has strengthened nations in their hour of peril.
- Sir Winston Churchill

All great things are simple, and many can be expressed in single words: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope.
- Sir Winston Churchill

Although prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it be postponed.
- Sir Winston Churchill

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile - hoping it will eat him last.
- Sir Winston Churchill

Broadly speaking, the short words are the best, and the old words best of all.
- Sir Winston Churchill

Every day you may make progress. Every step may be fruitful.
Yet there will stretch out before you an ever-lengthening, ever-ascending, ever-improving path. You know you will never get to the end of the journey. But this, so far from discouraging,
only adds to the joy and glory of the climb.
- Sir Winston Churchill

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
- Sir Winston Churchill

History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.
- Sir Winston Churchill

I have always felt that a politician is to be judged by the animosities he excites among his opponents.
- Sir Winston Churchill

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us.
Pigs treat us as equals.
- Sir Winston Churchill

It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government
except all the others that have been tried.
- Sir Winston Churchill

It's not enough that we do our best; sometimes we have to do what's required.
- Sir Winston Churchill

Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened.
- Sir Winston Churchill

Never, never, never believe any war will be smooth and easy,
or that anyone who embarks on the strange voyage can measure the tides and hurricanes he will encounter. The statesman who yields to war fever must realize that once the signal is given, he is no longer the master of policy but the slave of unforeseeable and uncontrollable events.
- Sir Winston Churchill

One ought never to turn one's back on a threatened danger
and try to run away from it. If you do that, you will double the danger. But if you meet it promptly and without flinching, you will reduce the danger by half.
- Sir Winston Churchill

Success is the ability to go from one failure to another
with no loss of enthusiasm.
- Sir Winston Churchill

The price of greatness is responsibility.
- Sir Winston Churchill

To build may have to be the slow and laborious task of years.
To destroy can be the thoughtless act of a single day.
- Sir Winston Churchill

We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.
- Sir Winston Churchill

When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber.
- Sir Winston Churchill

The bible is the book of all books. Its inspirational author is God. One can deny God and forget that He exists but on judgement day it will be a bit late to change course. Simply put, the bible is our owners manual for life...

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.
- Genesis 1:1

It is I who made the earth and created mankind upon it. My own hands streched out the heavens; I marshalled their starry hosts.
- Isaiah 45:12

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word as God.
- John 1:1

Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made.
- John 1:3

He was in the world, and though the world was made through him,
the world did not recognize him.
- John 1:10

"I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
- John 14:6

The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.
- Isaih 58:11

For there is hope of a tree, if it be cut down, that it will
sprout again, and that the tender branch therof will not
cease.
- Job 14:7

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.
- Psalm 119:105

My flesh trembles in fear of you; I stand in awe of your laws.
- Psalm 119:120

- Psalm 23
(comment: say Psalm 23 with your kids each night, you'll never forget it...)

Quotations are fun to read! The best quotes are packed with humor, wit, history and basic truths... They are short, easy to read and have a powerful message with the elegance of poetry. Theyr'e just fun! Too bad I can't think of this stuff!